The good news is that my cat came back! The bad news is that he was injured and had to have a damaged eye removed. Here he is back from the vet, zonked out on painkiller and watching "pictures" on the wall. He has to have a Cone of Shame which we both hate, and my other cat, Millie, was scared of him. She staged a big fluff up and hid under the couch. I hope she will get used to having this "monster" in her house eventually.

It's autumn here now, starting to get colder. Not looking forward to winter at all, we haven't had a summer this year because the weather has been so wet and cool. Will have to buy myself some new slippers and get the heat pump fixed. How exciting.
 

Nerines, also known as spider lilies. These are outside the conservatory. In Japan whole fields of these flower in the autumn, they are like a weed.

No news of my cat. It is very unsettling. I don't know, may never know, what happened to him. Meanwhile war rages in the Middle East, people have died, should I mourn my cat? It feels inconsequential on a world scale, but I knew Thomas so the loss feels personal. People say "He was only a cat" but he was my cat and I love him. I feel like I'm going just a bit crazy at the moment. I'll be glad to be dead, I've had enough of this world and its grief. Asked my Dad to come and get me, but I doubt he hears me. The usual comforts don't seem to be working now - the garden. chocolate cake - all in vain. Sigh.

 

 Back to lynwaho again. I have neglected you, but I need a place to vent and write. Yes, I am drunk at the moment, but sometimes drunkenness brings truth. "In vino veritas", or so they say.

 I have lost my beautiful cat. Thomas went outside on Thursday night and has not returned. He was my soul cat, the cat I would have married if he had been a human. I hate missing him; I hate that he has gone and that I don't know what happened to him. He kept me company when I went through chemo; sleeping quietly with me while I dozed with exhaustion. Such a sweet, sweet boy, and now he is gone. It brings so many thoughts, how I wish I could escape them. Life is full of pain. Its joy is fleeting but the pain remains.