Nerines, also known as spider lilies. These are outside the conservatory. In Japan whole fields of these flower in the autumn, they are like a weed.

No news of my cat. It is very unsettling. I don't know, may never know, what happened to him. Meanwhile war rages in the Middle East, people have died, should I mourn my cat? It feels inconsequential on a world scale, but I knew Thomas so the loss feels personal. People say "He was only a cat" but he was my cat and I love him. I feel like I'm going just a bit crazy at the moment. I'll be glad to be dead, I've had enough of this world and its grief. Asked my Dad to come and get me, but I doubt he hears me. The usual comforts don't seem to be working now - the garden. chocolate cake - all in vain. Sigh.