Bad cat

Thomas peed on my mattress this morning. At 4.00 I awoke to the dear little puddy tat making that scratching movement they make when they cover something up. Oh, he's just playing, I thought, he's trying to get into the bed. But why am I wet down my right side?... ...OH SHIT, you Evil Little Bastard, you've peed on the bed!!! Instantly, I'm wide awake and moving fast. I get up, strip the bed, and the wee is already down through the electric blanket into the mattress, so I take the blanket and sheets off, throw them into the bath, shift the mattress out into the hallway, peel my wet nightgear off and throw that into the bath and wash me. Fortunately I have another mattress that lives under the top one as its better for my aging back to have a thicker mattress, so at least I can go back to sleep. The electric blanket needed to be replaced this year anyway, so now push has come to shove so to speak. (Perhaps Tom saw it sparking in the dark and peed on it to put it out, thus saving my worthless human life. A sort of feline Rin-tin-tin. See, I'm trying to be charitable here). Now I have a large mattress in my very small hallway - it looks both eccentric and white-trashy, not quite the decor theme I was going for. I have to get the mattress cleaned now, I hope they don't think it was me that peed. I can see the 'yeah, right" look on the cleaner's face. ("My cat peed on the mattress". "Yeah, so you say")
  Tom is toilet-trained, so why this happened I don't know. There is a poo/pee-tray in the laundry for his convenience. I suppose it was too cold out there or he couldn't be bothered to walk the whole 4 metres to the laundry. Hopefully he knows better now, but guess who won't be allowed on the bed again for a while. Shifting a mattress at four in the morning is not my idea of a sweet awakening.