Friday, April 27, 2012

The ugly American

My present job involves a lot of interaction with tourists. Most of them are nice, charming people, but every now and again you get one who makes you go AAArgh! Male American,  in his 50s or 60s, large, talkative and what a pain. He was annoyed that a policeman had given him a ticket for speeding; he was doing 119 in a 100 zone. When asked if he knew what the speed limit was, he said he didn't think there was one in New Zealand. He said that he will not pay the money, as "no one gets money out of me".
Yesterday he visited Greymouth, which in his opinion was dying, just like the rest of New Zealand. Owing to our socialist society, and too many rules and regulations. Barack Obama was a mongrel, because no good comes of hybridizing between the races, and that's the reason that mixed-race people die early, because they are an insult to God's law, he said.  Like honey-bees. And mules. Having been in NZ for fifteen days, he was also an expert on race relations in New Zealand. And Maori culture. And he told us what he thought. None of which is repeatable.
    Also tea was served too hot in New Zealand. He had to wait for it to cool before he could drink it.
    On a positive note, he did like the number of stars we had in the Southern sky. More than in the US. I refrained from telling him it was probably because he'd never seen a sky clear of pollution before. That would have been unkind.
    "Of course, the whole world hates America", he said.
    No, I thought, at this moment we just hate you.

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