Mr Collins

I had occasion the other day to renew my acquaintance with one of, nay, my most annoying customer. I realise I should not write about other people, but really, it is beyond temptation. This man is my Nemesis. I shall call him Mr Collins, though this is not his real name.
  This is a man who always, always has something wrong with his account. Fines not paid, books assumed lost, card left at home or also lost. For some reason, these things are all the library's fault, never his own. He is a pompous ninny, who once asked me, in his pompous ninny voice, "I don't understand why I get all these fines; isn't there a special card I can have?"
    No, there is not. And even if there was, you would lose it, Mr Collins. And why are you so special that you should have a special card?
    Oh, he does try my patience sorely. I was reduced at one instance to informing him, that no, he could not get another card because he had 'mislaid' his current one. The library did not issue cards for the amusement and employment of its staff, I said. This is about as rude as I have ever been to a customer.
    I had not seen him for some years, and hoped that he had gone away, but no, there he is still, that great rock of obtuse stupidity against which the futile waves of common sense break and leave no trace.